Tuesday Evening Kicker: 2021 Week 14 Recap

In the final week of the regular season, the Squirrels and Crabs wrapped up their respective division titles. The Jerks made a curious lineup boo-boo that cost them both a win and a playoff spot. Meanwhile, the Grainers, Jerky and Blitz won tune-up games as they gear up for the postseason.

Doormats no more; Squirrels find the golden nut

Switzerland Squirrels 183, Ecuador Ewoks 133.22 — Since moving to Switzerland after the 2017 season, the Squirrels have been at the bottom of the North Division. In fact, they had more wins this season (9) than in the three season before that combined (7). But divisional doormats no more; the Squirrels secured the North Division crown with a big victory over Ecuador. Switzerland was led, per usual, by Cooper Kupp (38.05) and Tom Brady (36.85). Odell Beckham rediscovered relevancy and added 23.45 points. Aaron Jones notched 22.5. For the Ewoks, they close their season with a loss. Lamar Jackson exited early with an injury and Ezekiel Elliott scored just 11.4 points. Brandin Cooks (22.85) and Dawson Knox (22.25) were the leading scorers. Next Week: Switzerland hosts Ukraine in Round 1 of the postseason. Ecuador will watch from home.

Tank you very much! From tankers to division champs, Crabs win East

Christmas Island Crabs 196.12, Nagasaki Kamikazes 170.52 — The Crabs depleted their roster to as few as 4 players this offseason and spent the summer months accumulating draft picks and preparing for the future. That future already looks bright, as the once tanking Crabs defeated the reigning East champions and secured the division title. Tight ends George Kittle (41.85) and Mark Andrews (34.75) helped lead the way in this one. Justin Herbert added 29.62 and Tee Higgins finished with 20.65. For the Kamikazes, Ja’Marr Chase scored 29.5 points to lead the way. Javonte Williams (24.3), Kyler Murray (24.27), and Chase Claypool (21.45) were strong contributors as well. Next Week: Christmas Island hosts Nagasaki in a rematch in Round 1 of the playoffs.

Cooked? Not well done; Jerks bench star in season-ending loss

San Juan Scorpions 175.97, Jamaica Jerks 161.13 — With their season on the line, a chance to become only the second team to beat San Juan this season, and an opportunity to secure the final playoff spot in the Northwest, the Jamaica Jerks … left their best player, Dalvin Cook, on the bench. Cook’s 40 points went unaccounted for, they did not beat San Juan, and they missed the playoffs by just 2.63 points. San Juan was led as always by Josh Allen, who scored 44.57 points in this one. Alvin Kamara notched 29.9 and Justin Jefferson added 26.45. Stefon Diggs finished with 19.65. In Cook’s stead, Alexander Mattison tallied just 3.9 points. Hunter Renfrow tried to carry the load with 33.7 points. Mike Evans added 25.1 and the Green Bay Packers finished with 19.2. Next Week: San Juan hosts Russia in Round 1 of the postseason. Jamaica will sit at home and think about what they’ve done.

Grainers take third seed, Renegades hang on to fourth

Ukraine Grainers 176.77, Russia Renegades 138.47 — The Grainers fought off injuries and a slow start to the season to come back and secure the No. 3 seed and top wild card spot. The Renegades used their strong start to the season to coast into the playoffs by less than 3 points. The Dallas Cowboys (26.45), Chris Godwin (26.25), Russell Wilson (24.12) and Saquon Barkley (21.7) led the way in this one. For the Renegades, Melvin Gordon (27.9), Clyde Edwards-Helaire (21.2), and Ryan Tannehill (21.07) were the top scorers in the loss. Next Week: Ukraine will face division foe Switzerland in the first round of the playoffs. Russia will travel to San Juan in Round 1.

Jerky obliterate Wookiees to take fourth seed in Southeast

Turkey Jerky 191.52, Wake Island Wookiees 98.27 — The Jerky looked to build some momentum as they head toward the playoffs with a strong dismantling of the Wookiees. Davante Adams put up 41.35 points in the victory. James Conner added 36.1, Leonard Fournette notched 27, and Amari Cooper finished with 19.35. The Jerky scored the second-most amount of points this week without two players in their lineup. Conversely, the Wookiees played without three and scored the fewest. Matthew Stafford scored 27.32 points to lead the Wookiees in the loss. Cole Beasley added 19.65 and Marvin Jones finished with 16.25. Next Week: Turkey travels to Bangkok for the first round of the playoffs. The Wookiees will hibernate for the winter.

Blitz take care of Pharaohs in tune-up game, secure top seed

Bangkok Blitz 165.43, Egypt Pharaohs 113.05 — Bangkok glided into the postseason after a light sparring match against the rebuilding Pharaohs. Tyler Lockett led the way with 31.45 points. Najee Harris tallied 29.4 and the Cleveland Browns finished with 22.25. The Pharaohs were led by Patrick Mahomes with 24.4 points. The Kansas City Chiefs added 23.2 and Devin Singletary notched 15.7. Next Week: Bangkok will host Turkey in the first round of the playoffs. Egypt will be watching from home.