Armchair GM: Plotting the course for each team in 2021

It’s the offseason! Which means, of course, teams are busy scouting and strategizing how to improve their team’s outlook for the upcoming season.

But it’s not just those in charge who are busy theorizing. Oh, no. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry has an opinion about the best path forward. The offseason is fertile ground for armchair general managers to lay out their elaborate plans to build a championship team.

Here is one armchair GM’s blueprint for each team.

Bangkok Blitz

Fans in Southeast Asia want to win so bad they can taste it. After enduring two long years of rebuilding, the Blitz are on the brink of greatness. Bangkok is locked and loaded at the quarterback position with Aaron Rodgers and Dak Prescott — two of the better quarterbacks in the MFFL the past two seasons — under contract for the 2021 season. They drafted five running backs in last year’s draft who are ready to take the next step, led by Jonathan Taylor. They have a bona fide TE1 in Noah Fant along with a strong backup in Jonnu Smith. The one area that could use improvement to push them over the edge is the receiver position. JuJu Smith-Schuster was a high-end WR2 in 2020. Adding a tried and true WR1 would push this team over the edge. The Blitz have the fourth pick in the draft and there are some young studs that will be available to them there. But to compete in 2021, they ought to take a wad of their $48.4 million in cash and target one of the top receivers in the free agent market. Additionally, the Blitz can dangle their running back depth to other teams to secure an extra receiver. The Blitz have a lot of flexibility and the pieces in place to make a title run in 2021.

Christmas Island Crabs

A year after the Crabs won the MFFL Super Bowl, the defending champions had a roller coaster season. They traded away the rights to their team MVP, Michael Thomas, and never really replaced his production. Tyler Lockett had a strong season and finished as a low-end WR1. D.J. Moore was expected to step up, but dropped to a low-end WR2. Deebo Samuel, acquired in the Thomas trade, missed most of the season. And DeVante Parker regressed from his breakout season of 2019. Likewise, the running back position endured some hardship. The duo of Miles Sanders and Austin Ekeler, who were both borderline RB1/RB2 in 2019, fell back in 2020. Both missed time with injuries and couldn’t give the Crabs what they needed. Fortunately, the Crabs had rookie D’Andre Swift step up. If the team tags Ekeler, they will have a formidable trio entering the 2021 season. Retaining unrestricted free agent quarterback Russell Wilson would be a smart move. The team could extend a tag to Logan Thomas and solidify the tight end position. A healthy Locket, Moore, Samuel and Parker is a strong quartet at receiver. They could even seek to package a few assets to secure a cemented WR1. The Crabs have three picks in this year’s draft, all after Pick 22. So if they’re going to make a play for the title in 2021, it’ll have to be through trade or free agency.

Ecuador Ewoks

Ecuador has their work cut out for them in 2021. With only six players under contract, five of whom are playing at league minimum, the Ewoks are basically operating with a clean slate. This armchair GM would dangle unrestricted free agent Ezekiel Elliott into the MFFL waters and see what kind of big fish bites. The Ewoks need to be in the asset acquisition business this offseason. Getting their hands on as many draft picks (specifically first rounders) and young playmakers on rookie deals should be the goal here. When the Ewoks enter the auction, despite having a league-high $92.1 million, the goal should be to target properly priced players. If they leave the auction with a lot of cash in hand, no problem. They could use that to pay down salary in 2022 and set themselves up for success the following season. If the Ewoks land big fish via the auction, unless they are bargains, they should sign those veterans to one-year contracts to avoid cap problems that have been a nuisance in the past. And if the Ewoks take a self-assessment midseason and realize they’re not contenders, they can become sellers at the trade deadline, pawn off their veterans for draft picks and rookie contracts, and restock the arsenal. The 2021 season has offered the Ewoks a lot of flexibility and a clean slate to shape their franchise for the coming seasons.

Egypt Pharaohs

The Pharaohs will enter the 2021 season as three-time defending South Division champions. They have had the division in a stranglehold for the past three years, but will have the Blitz breathing down their necks this coming season. To successfully defend their crown, they’re going to have to reel in a few big fish at the top of their depth chart. Quarterback is set, as Patrick Mahomes will return as the face of the franchise. Mahomes finished as QB4 last year and can win some games by himself. The Pharaohs can sign a veteran backup for dirt cheap. At running back, the team got a great season out of third-year pro Ronald Jones, who finished as RB16. Jones is a good complementary piece, but they’ll need one — preferably two — other running backs to push them over the edge. Unrestricted free agent Joe Mixon should receive a tag. He has RB1 talent so long as he stays healthy — something he failed to do last year. As armchair GM, I would cut Sony Michel and use his allotted salary toward a better third option. At the receiver position, the team really needs a WR1. Odell Beckham has failed to attain that status for four seasons running and he is now a UFA. I’d let him walk and instead target another big name on the market. UFA Evan Engram finished as a low-end TE1. He could be tagged and do just fine in that role for the Pharaohs. But getting those two running backs and top wide receiver will position the Pharaohs for another strong title defense.

Jamaica Jerks

In analyzing the state of the Jerks’ roster, if the team can fill out the following Jamaican bobsled, they’ll be ready to go in 2021. First, they need to tag Dalvin Cook and not let him leave the island. Second, they need to let Chris Carson hit the market and avoid the temptation to tag him. He’s not worth the price of an EFT or NFT, and if they placed the TT on him, that does nothing but guarantee he makes a minimum of $14 million. If they want to retain him, they can go bid on him. But there are other running backs they can target, and getting a solid No. 2 is a must. Third, they need to go get themselves a solid FLEX option. Whether it be another running back or wide receiver, this has to get solidified. If they secure their two stud running backs, that pairs well with the two stud receivers they have in Keenan Allen and Kenny Golladay. Whether or not Corey Davis can have an encore performance (WR30) or second-year pro Laviska Shenault can make a big leap, remains to be seen. But adding at least one strong FLEX player of starter quality would fit the bill. Finally, the fourth member of the bobsled team is a stronger quarterback. The team has Cam Newton and Joe Burrow under contract. Newton’s status is up in the air and he finished as a high-end QB2 last year. Burrow could take a big second-year leap, but there is no guarantee. Filling the sled with RB/RB/FLEX/QB will push Jamaica to the next level in 2021.

Nagasaki Kamikazes

Everything was primed for the Kamikazes to win that elusive title in 2020. Stocked with the best roster — at least the starting lineup — on paper in the MFFL, the team just had to avoid injuries or a drop off in production. Unfortunately for them, they ran into a buzz saw in the San Juan Scorpions, losing for the second time to them in three Super Bowls. Nagasaki has now had their season ended by the eventual Super Bowl champions for the fourth year in a row. The front office has to be scratching its collective heads and asking, “Now what?” For starters, the Kamikazes have to fill the running back position. The team had two players finish in the Top 7 at the position in Aaron Jones and James Robinson, both of whom are now unrestricted free agents. The team could tag one or both, but not at the expense of letting UFA receivers Davante Adams or DeAndre Hopkins walk. The rights of one of those four UFAs could be traded to get something in return, but it won’t be for an RB1. The Kamikazes currently hold Picks 2 and 3 in the upcoming draft and could take two young running backs if they so choose. Running backs generally produce much quicker than receivers, but there’s no guarantee. The Kamikazes currently have the second-most spendable cash at $77.5 million, but more than half of that will likely go to Adams and Hopkins on tags. Still, with the QB, WR, and TE positions solidified, the team can afford to splurge and/or offer assets in a trade to go get those running backs they need.

Russia Renegades

Russia utilized 2020 as a bit of a “rebuilding” season. Although they competed and took home the “vaunted” third-place trophy for the second straight season, the chances of them taking down one of the bigger dogs on the street were not high. With the short detour, the Renegades have set themselves up for a strong title shot in 2021. Russia has two quarterbacks who finished as QB1s a season ago in Lamar Jackson and Justin Herbert. They have three wide receivers who finished in the Top 7 last year in Calvin Ridley, Allen Robinson, and Justin Jefferson. Plus, they have second-year pros CeeDee Lamb and Tee Higgins ready to take the next step and Courtland Sutton returning from injury. They have two TE1s returning from last year in Hunter Henry and Mike Gesicki. And at running back, following the acquisition of David Montgomery from Ukraine, they have three RB1s from last season in Montgomery, Josh Jacobs and Kareem Hunt. The Renegades have the most spots filled and the least amount of cash available, but the roster is mostly complete. At this point, they need a good training camp and sustained health and success, more than any kind of roster composition, in order to compete in 2021.

San Juan Scorpions

The defending champion Scorpions are returning most of their key pieces from last year’s title run. The first order of business is going to be slapping reigning MFFL MVP Alvin Kamara into submission with a franchise tag. That may not make the running back happy not to get paid, but it’s the wisest financial move for the Scorpions. Retaining Kamara would secure the Scorpions’ running back position with two bona fide RB1s in Kamara and Nick Chubb. At receiver, Stefon Diggs had a huge resurgence and skyrocketed to finish as the league’s No. 2 receiver. While a slight regression is to be expected, he’s still locked and loaded as a WR1. Likewise, it’s entirely probable that DK Metcalf will build on his 2020 season and once again compete for a WR1 finish. All eyes will be on Terry McLaurin, who finished as WR20 last year. Can he take another step in Year 3 toward mid-to-high WR2 status? At tight end, the Scorpions will be in watch-and-see mode with veteran Zach Ertz. Where will he be in 2021? He’s the league’s highest-paid tight end but is coming off his worst season as a pro and is on the wrong side of 30. He’s due for a rebound, and the Scorpions don’t necessarily have to do anything with him. Tagging Kamara will eat about 40% of their remaining cash and leave them with about $27 million left to operate. They could use a third running back or fourth receiver, but they’re pretty well set to defend their title with strength everywhere else in the lineup.

Switzerland Squirrels

Call me nuts (see what I did there?), but the Squirrels could make the North the best division in the MFFL in 2021. With Ukraine a perennial powerhouse and the Renegades set for a title run, the Squirrels are furiously scampering to catch up. After back-to-back 1-12 seasons, Switzerland has the opportunity to turn things around this offseason. To make a playoff run in 2021, the Squirrels need a RB1, WR1, TE1, and I would argue an upgrade over Derek Carr. The Squirrels own the rights to Michael Thomas, Adam Thielen, and Mark Andrews. Those three players need to be tagged or traded. Here’s the catch: Thomas’ EFT is exorbitantly high, so he needs to receive the NFT, meaning other teams can bid on him. How much he goes for could determine what money is leftover to go after a veteran running back. The team does have the first overall pick in the upcoming draft, which will be used on a running back. But asking a rookie to be your RB1 is a tall order. This is why trading the rights to Thielen, or shipping off Cooper Kupp, might make sense from a financial perspective. Securing Andrews as their TE1 and signing a cheap veteran quarterback to compete with Carr are the other orders of business. Between that and locking down Thomas and a veteran RB, the Squirrels will be poised to make a playoff run in 2021.

Turkey Jerky

It’s been quite the change for Turkey from the 2020 offseason to now. Last year, the Jerky were right up against the cap and had to find some bargains in the auction. This year, Turkey has the fourth-most cash available, including the fourth-highest cash average. They have just eight spots to fill, but they have some considerable holes to fill. For starters, the team presently has no starting running backs or wide receivers under contract. Plus, they could use an upgrade at quarterback and potentially tight end. My assessment as armchair GM is not going to be a popular one with the Turks. But I would get ready for the roster rebuild. The Jerky have four attractive unrestricted free agents. They will not be able to keep them all, and even attempting to keep three of them would cause them to be right back in the same cap trouble they were in last year. The only one to consider keeping is Derrick Henry, who is still at the top of his game and a bona fide RB1. The only issue is that placing the EFT on him when you’re in the midst of a rebuild is negating the point. Placing the NFT on him would allow you to retain him for multiple years, but could cause his price to skyrocket. Meanwhile, trading him for multiple first-round picks and/or rising players on cheap contracts is probably best for the long-term. I would dangle Henry, collect all offers for him, and see which one is the best. I would also trade the rights to Melvin Gordon, Kenyan Drake and Amari Cooper. All of whom would return less, but would at least give a team that has just one draft pick this year (a third-rounder), and no first-round pick in the next two drafts, some more ammo to rebuild with. The Jerky need to fill their bare cupboard of picks and prospects this offseason and set themselves up for a strong rebound in 2022.

Ukraine Grainers

Ukraine presently has the fifth-most spendable cash as well as the fifth-highest cash average, but you can expect those numbers to take a big dip when the franchise tags are placed. Christian McCaffrey likely will play his second-straight season on the EFT. Tyreek Hill and George Kittle are also tag candidates and will likely run up a price tag in the upper $20 million range. Between the three of them, the Grainers could be down to $15-20 million left. That’s certainly doable for a team that has most of its positions locked and loaded. The team is set at quarterback with Deshaun Watson under contract for two more seasons. They can sign a cheap veteran backup. Likewise, they’d be fine with Darren Waller at tight end if they wanted to trade Kittle’s rights to see what they could get in return for him. But retaining Kittle would enable them to play double-tight if they should choose to do so. At receiver, aside from retaining Hill, the team is hoping for a rebound season from Chris Godwin, as he is one of the highest-paid receivers in the MFFL but had a setback last year. The team acquired Jerry Jeudy and will return Brandon Aiyuk, plus they have Henry Ruggs and Denzel Mims sitting in the Rookie Corral. The hope is that the second-year receivers take a big step in 2021. Veteran Will Fuller has been a boom-or-bust player and Marquise Brown, the former first-rounder, has not yet achieved his full potential. At running back, the team will be promoting Cam Akers from the Rookie Corral to join McCaffrey in the backfield, and will be expecting improvement from Damien Harris as well. Ukraine will be right back in the title picture in 2021.

Wake Island Wookiees

Wake Island was really hoping for a deep playoff run last year, but following the devastating knee injury to Saquon Barkley and the trade of DeAndre Hopkins, everything fell apart after that. For their troubles, they did not get the first overall draft pick they should have earned, having traded that before the season for tight end T.J. Hockenson. The Wookiees have 14 unrestricted free agents, with just six players left under contract. Needless to say, they are primed for a rebuild. The quickest, surest way toward getting back in the playoff picture is dangling Barkley to the dogs and having an auction for his services. Barkley is in the final year of his rookie contract and is still one of the best backs in the league. Trading him would return a haul. The Wookiees badly need an influx of draft picks and rookie contracts. They have just one draft pick this year, the 13th overall. They can get a solid contributor with that. But trading Barkley would land them multiple first-rounders and/or young prospects. Another player to ditch would be Todd Gurley. His contract is bloated and his ROI is poor. The Wookiees could see what, if anything, they could get for him. And if it’s nothing, it might even be worth cutting him this year to save almost $7.5 million. If the Wookiees make just a few moves, they could rebuild their team in a way that enables them to strongly compete in 2022.