Tuesday Evening Kicker: 2019 Week 13 Recap

Let the “second season” begin. The final week of the regular season is in the books. Egypt secured the final playoff berth with a thrashing of Wake Island. Russia and Turkey cruised to victories over 1-win Switzerland and Bangkok, respectively. Jamaica sealed up the West Division crown with a victory over division rival Ecuador. San Juan defeated the mighty Ukraine — and will turn right around and play them again next week in Round 1 of the playoffs. And Christmas Island knocked off East rival Nagasaki, giving the Crabs the No. 3 seed in the Southeast playoffs.

Pharaohs mummify the Wookiees; win the South

Egypt Pharaohs 176.08, Wake Island Wookiees 92.68 — Egypt clinched the South Division title by nearly doubling the Wookiees in scoring. Wide receiver Devante Parker scored 34.9 points to lead the Pharaohs. The Los Angeles Rams defense (21.8), quarterback Patrick Mahomes (21.68), running back Joe Mixon (20.8) and tight end Jack Doyle (20.8) all topped 20 points in the win. Running back Saquon Barkley tallied 18.3 points to lead the Wookiees in the loss. Saints Kicker (17.6) and quarterback Drew Brees (13.73) were also instrumental for Wake Island. Next Week: Egypt will host the visiting Crabs. Wake Island will travel to Nagasaki.

Jerks beat up the Ewoks, clinch the South Division title

Jamaica Jerks 158.08, Ecuador Ewoks 133.27 — Jamaica recovered from a 3-out-of-4 game losing streak to wrap up the West Division title in beating Ecuador. Quarterback Carson Wentz powered the Jerks with 27.33 points. Wide receiver Julian Edelman scored 22.1 points while running back Leonard Fournette piled on 20.9. For the Ewoks, quarterback Mitch Trubisky led the way with 27.72 points. Running back Ezekiel Elliott tallied 23.1 points and wide receiver Cole Beasley finished with 23. Next Week: Jamaica will play host to Russia in Round 1.

San Juan stuns Ukraine, sets up Round 1 rematch

San Juan Scorpions 164.58, Ukraine Grainers 132.32 — San Juan knocked off the Grainers in Ukraine, setting up a rematch in the first round of the Northwest Conference playoffs. Wide receivers Robert Woods (30.2) and Alshon Jeffery (28.7) led the way for the defending champions. Quarterback Josh Allen tacked on 27.75 points and the Minnesota Vikings defense finished with 20.55. Running backs Todd Gurley (22.3), Christian McCaffrey (20), and David Montgomery (19.9) propelled the Grainers in the loss. Tight end Darren Waller finished with 19. Next Week: San Juan will travel back to Ukraine for a rematch with the Grainers.

Crabs claw past Kamikazes, set up showdown with Egypt

Christmas Island Crabs 155.05, Nagasaki Kamikazes 139.63 — In what could be a preview of the Southeast Conference Championship, Christmas Island and Nagasaki did battle with the Crabs gaining the advantage. Wide receiver Kenny Golladay led the way for the Crabs with 25.8 points. Running back Miles Sanders pitched in with 24.9 points and quarterback Russell Wilson finished with 20.35. Wide receiver Davante Adams scored 24.4 points in the loss for the Kamikazes. Running back Chris Carson picked up 22.5 points and quarterback Kyler Murray finished with 18.78. Next Week: Christmas Island will travel to Egypt to take on South champ, Egypt. Nagasaki will host Wake Island.

A 137-point victory can’t buy Jerky a playoff spot

Turkey Jerky 160.4, Bangkok Blitz 23.35 — Turkey needed a win and a loss from Egypt to have a shot at the postseason. They did their part with a 137-point rout of the tanking Blitz, but it could not get them into the postseason. Quarterback Aaron Rodgers scored 28.35 points and running back Derrick Henry piled on 27.8 in the big victory. Wide receivers Amari Cooper (16.5) and Cooper Kupp (18.5) were also key contributors. For the Blitz, the Dallas Cowboys defense scored 16.55 of the team’s 23.35 points. Next Week: Both teams will compete in consolation action.

Renegades pop Squirrels, snag No. 3 seed in Northwest

Russia Renegades 163.2, Switzerland Squirrels 87.98 — Russia secured the No. 3 seed in the Northwest Conference playoffs with a big victory over Switzerland. Quarterback Lamar Jackson scored 26.3 points to lead the way for the Renegades. Wide receivers Courtland Sutton (23.4) and Allen Robinson (22.6) were key players as well. Tight end Mike Gesicki tallied 21.4 points and wide receiver James Washington tacked on 21.1 to lead the Squirrels in the loss. Next Week: Russia travels to Jamaica for a first-round battle with the Jerks.