Tuesday Evening Kicker: 2019 Week 7 Recap

“Exhibition games” have begun in earnest as Trading Assets aNd Kneeling Intentionally iN Games has begun. The Blitz bowed before the Ewoks while the Squirrels genuflected to the Kamikazes. But in other action, Egypt scored a big upset over the defending champions, Russia knocked off Christmas Island, the Jerks obliterated the Jerky, and Ukraine stomped the Wookiees.

Pharaohs bury the Scorpions in the sand

Egypt Pharaohs 120.17, San Juan Scorpions 109.68 — With three of their stars out, the defending champions Scorpions couldn’t find the firepower to keep up with the Pharaohs. Dak Prescott scored 25.22 points to help lead the Pharaohs. The Rams defense (27.75) and the Rams kicker (14) led the way as well. Quarterback Josh Allen (22.73) and wide receivers T.Y. Hilton (19.4) and John Brown (19.3) were the leading scorers for the Scorpions. Next Week: Egypt will try to keep things rolling when they take on Jamaica in a tough matchup. San Juan will take its metaphorical bye when they visit Bangkok for some sightseeing.

No Mac? No Problem. Murray excels in Grainers’ win

Ukraine Grainers 148.52, Wake Island Wookiees 122.3 — With the MFFL’s leading scorer, Christian McCaffrey, sitting out, backup Latavius Murray filled in admirably, scoring more than McCaffrey’s season average. Murray scored 37.4 points to lead the Grainers to victory. Tight end Darren Waller was close behind with 35.1 points. Quarterback Deshaun Watson finished with 19.82 points. Running back Saquon Barkley finished with 20.6 points for the Wookiees in the loss. Tight end Eric Ebron added 19 points and wide receiver Julio Jones finished with 15.3. Next Week: Ukraine does battle with Nagasaki in a big midseason matchup. Wake Island looks to rebound when they face Russia.

Kamikazes slip past Squirrels in exhibition spar

Nagasaki Kamikazes 116.17, Switzerland Squirrels 100.12 — With both teams suffering from injuries, paired with Switzerland’s switch to tank mode, the Kamikazes slipped past the Squirrels in a game that featured two empty lineup slots. Wide receiver Marquez Valdes-Scantling led the team with 21.3 points. Running back Aaron Jones tallied 20.7 points and running back Chris Carson finished with 14.6 points. For the Squirrels, the Jaguars defense finished with 23.4 points, tight end Jimmy Graham notched 18.5 points, and wide receiver Robert Woods finished with 13.8. Next Week: Nagasaki faces Ukraine in a huge Week 7 matchup. Switzerland will look to maintain pace with Bangkok when they face the Crabs.

Hop to the bench: Blitz ensure defeat to Ewoks

Ecuador Ewoks 107.22, Bangkok Blitz 79.35 — Bangkok took extra precaution in protecting its lead for the No. 1 draft pick in 2020 by benching star DeAndre Hopkins. Ecuador gladly accepted the victory. Running back Ezekiel Elliott racked up 31.1 points in the victory. Quarterback Philip Rivers finished with 22.97. And running back Tarik Cohen tallied 12.5 points. Wide receiver Stefon Diggs put up 21.2 points for the Blitz in the loss. Wide receiver Dede Westbrook finished with 18.1 points. And running back Todd Gurley notched 16 points. Next Week: Ecuador travels to Turkey to battle the Jerky. Bangkok will try to remain winless when they face the defending champion Scorpions.

Jerks flatten the Jerky

Jamaica Jerks 160.73, Turkey Jerky 106.35 — Jamaica topped 160 points for the fifth time in seven weeks as they rolled over Turkey for a big win. Running back Dalvin Cook led the way with 32.9 points. Running backs Austin Ekeler (26.5) and Leonard Fournette (22.3) were key contributors for the Jerks as well. Running back Sony Michel paced the Jerky in the loss with 26.2 points. Quarterback Tom Brady finished with 18.05 points and wide receiver Amari Cooper tallied 15.6 points. Next Week: Jamaica seeks its sixth-straight victory when they take on Egypt. Turkey will try to rebound when they face Ecuador.

Renegades run away from Crabs

Russia Renegades 150.42, Christmas Island Crabs 129.68 — Russia’s backfield put in a strong performance in a big victory over Christmas Island. Lamar Jackson tallied 27.42 points in the victory for the Renegades. Running backs Derrick Henry (22.2) and Josh Jacobs (20.6) were also big contributors. For the Crabs, wide receiver Michael Thomas finished with 22.1 points, the Bills defense racked up 21.45 points, quarterback Russell Wilson finished with 18.33 points, and wide receiver Tyler Lockett tallied 17. Next Week: Russia will travel to Wake Island to take on the Wookiees. Christmas Island faces Switzerland in a likely exhibition match.