Tuesday Evening Kicker: 2017 Week 5 Recap

And then there was one. Week 5 in the MFFL saw one of the two remaining winless teams pick up their first victory, another team squeezed out a 2.14 razor-thin margin of victory, and two teams advanced to a league-leading 4-1 record.

Quarterback Alex Smith led the way with 29.95 points in Jamaica's victory over Russia.
Quarterback Alex Smith led the way with 29.95 points in Jamaica’s victory over Russia.

Ya Make a Jerk angry, he’ll Rush Ya: Defending champs pick up first victory

Jamaica Jerks 123.45, Russia Renegades 110.93 — Staring down the barrel of an 0-5 start to the season, the Jerks pulled out all the stops and topped the Renegades in non-divisional action. Quarterback Alex Smith led the way with 29.95 points, followed by newly-acquired wide receiver Chris Hogan with 21.5. Running back Lamar Miller (13.9) and wide receiver Brandin Cooks (13.5) pitched in as well. For the Renegades, quarterback Jameis Winston scored 22.33 points to lead the team. Running backs Kareem Hunt (20.4) and LeSean McCoy (18.7) and wide receiver Tyreek Hill (16.8) had strong performances in the loss. Next week, the Jerks will try to make it two in a row when they face the Greenland Monsters. Russia will look to get back on track when they face the Ewoks.

WR Antonio Brown tallied 25.7 points in Nagasaki's victory over Turkey.
WR Antonio Brown tallied 25.7 points in Nagasaki’s victory over Turkey.

What goes up, must come down: Kamikazes, Jerky headed in opposite direction

Nagasaki Kamikazes 132.75, Turkey Jerky 122.7 — The Nagasaki Kamikazes and Turkey Jerky are two teams headed in opposite directions as the Kamikazes are winners of two straight while the Jerky have lost their last two. In the win, Nagasaki was led by wide receiver Antonio Brown with 25.7 points and running back Le’Veon Bell with 22.3 points. Wide receiver Devin Funchess added 18.3 and the Seattle Seahawks defensed finished with 27.5. Turkey received a balanced effort across the board with strong performances from tight end Travis Kelce (17.8), quarterback Tom Brady (17.5), wide receivers Pierre Garcon (17.4) and Danny Amendola (15.7) and running back LeGarrette Blount (10.2). In Week 6, the Kamikazes will go for three in a row when they face Bangkok in tough matchup. Turkey will look to right the ship against Wake Island.

T.Y. Hilton had a big game with 24.7 points in San Juan's win over Greenland.
T.Y. Hilton had a big game with 24.7 points in San Juan’s win over Greenland.

Four and Juan: Scorpions top the Monsters for third-straight win

San Juan Scorpions 133.83, Greenland Monsters 122.5 — The Scorpions picked up their fourth victory of the season in a close battle with the Monsters. Wide receivers A.J. Green (28.9) and T.Y. Hilton (24.7) led the way for San Juan. Tight end Zach Ertz notched 18.1 points and quarterback Tyrod Taylor added 13.03. For the Monsters, running back Leonard Fournette exploded with 37 points, only to be eclipsed by those red-hot Jacksonville Jaguars defenders, who finished with 43.2 points. Wide receiver Dez Bryant added 16.2. San Juan will try to advance to 5-1 when they face Ukraine in Week 6 while Greenland looks for a much-needed victory against Jamaica.

Bangkok topped Vietnam behind 27.2 points from wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins.
Bangkok topped Vietnam behind 27.2 points from wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins.

’Nam-ber One: Blitz sit atop league with victory over Velociraptors

Bangkok Blitz 134.72, Vietnam Velociraptors 124 — Bangkok continued to roll in Week 5 when they took down the Velociraptors by 10 points. The red-hot Todd Gurley cooled off in this one, but the Blitz were led by a host of other players, including wide receivers DeAndre Hopkins (27.2), Larry Fitzgerald (11.1) and Jordy Nelson (10.4). Tight End Kyle Rudolph added 16.5 points late in the game to seal the victory. Vietnam got 38.3 big points from running back Melvin Gordon. Wide receivers Jarvis Landry (15.5) and DeSean Jackson (15.6) followed suit. Running back Isaiah Crowell added 12.1. Bangkok has a showdown with Nagasaki looming in Week 6 while Vietnam takes on Egypt.

Ezekiel Elliott notched 20 points in Ecuador's victory over Ukraine.
Ezekiel Elliott notched 20 points in Ecuador’s victory over Ukraine.

Ripe for the pickin’: Ewoks nip the Grainers

Ecuador Ewoks 120.82, Ukraine Grainers 118.68 — In the closest matchup to date, the Ecuador Ewoks squeaked past the Ukraine Grainers by a 2.14-point margin. Quarterback Aaron Rodgers led the way with 25.12 points for the Ewoks. Running backs Ezekiel Elliott (20) and Duke Johnson (18.5) had strong performances as well. Wide receiver Jeremy Maclin pitched in with 10.3. For the Grainers, wide receiver Odell Beckham scored 21.7 points before exiting the game with what would turn out to be a season-ending ankle injury. Quarterback Matthew Stafford finished with 16.38 points, followed by running back Christian McCaffrey with 15.4. The Ewoks will take on the Renegades in Week 6 with Ukraine squaring off against the surging Scorpions.

Quarterback Dak Prescott scored 33.12 points to lead Egypt over Wake Island.
Quarterback Dak Prescott scored 33.12 points to lead Egypt over Wake Island.

Fair? Oh, Wookies: Egypt tops short-handed Wake Island

Egypt Pharaohs 127.92, Wake Island Wookiees 96.57 — With eight players on their bye week or out with an injury, the Wake Island Wookiees were helpless against the Egypt Pharaohs. Egypt received a huge day from quarterback Dak Prescott with 33.12 points. Wide receiver Will Fuller continued to surge, scoring 20.4 points. Running backs Marshawn Lynch (14.7) and Jay Ajayi (11.9) showed strong outings as well. Tight ends Cameron Brate (17.8) and Jimmy Graham (15.7) led the way for the Wookiees with wide receiver Kelvin Benjamin pitching in 15.8. The Kansas City Chiefs added 21.9 points in the loss. Egypt will try to make it two in a row when they face Vietnam next week while the Wookiees will try to pick up their first win of the season when they take on the struggling Turkey Jerky.